Remission may put an end to the disease, but it does not always stop the feeling of being lost.
BY Kim Johnson
PUBLISHED December 27, 2017
Kim is a nursing student who is hoping to find her place amongst the phenomenal oncology nurses and doctors who cared for her sister. She loves reading, volunteering and enjoying the outdoors of Colorado.
I think all of us have those moments in life when we question why we are here and what our purpose is. When my sister had cancer, I sometimes felt like I had somehow forgotten to read the directions on the map, because often I felt quite lost. I was always so busy working to make sure that she was OK, and I had little time to do anything else. I would look at my calendar and wonder how I became so busy.
Looking back, I honestly have no idea how I managed to do it all and still sleep. But in all honesty, there were little other options. Things needed to be done for a variety of reasons. I was her caregiver, so I did them. Now that she is in remission, that is thankfully no longer the case. However, that does not mean that completely stopped feeling lost.
As of late, I find myself stuck. There are moments in time that I feel absolutely disconnected from the world and alone in my own little bubble. While I have direction and I know that I want to be a nurse, the journey to getting there has been difficult. I have faced many hurdles to find my way. And it is in these moments that I wonder if I have actually found my way at all or if I am still amongst the lost.
Looking back, I honestly have no idea how I managed to do it all and still sleep. But in all honesty, there were little other options. Things needed to be done for a variety of reasons. I was her caregiver, so I did them. Now that she is in remission, that is thankfully no longer the case. However, that does not mean that completely stopped feeling lost.
As of late, I find myself stuck. There are moments in time that I feel absolutely disconnected from the world and alone in my own little bubble. While I have direction and I know that I want to be a nurse, the journey to getting there has been difficult. I have faced many hurdles to find my way. And it is in these moments that I wonder if I have actually found my way at all or if I am still amongst the lost.
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