Saturday, January 6, 2018

Choosing to Be Proactive, Not Reactive, After Cancer Wears You Down

Breast cancer and melanoma survivor reflects about being tired of her cancers and shares a way to respond to uncertainty.


PUBLISHED January 06, 2018

Barbara Tako is a breast cancer survivor (2010), melanoma survivor (2014) and author of Cancer Survivorship Coping Tools–We'll Get You Through This. She is a cancer coping advocate, speaker and published writer for television, radio and other venues across the country. She lives, survives, and thrives in Minnesota with her husband, children and dog. See more at www.cancersurvivorshipcopingtools.com,or www.clutterclearingchoices.com.
People who have never had cancer do not always understand why someone would consider subjecting themselves to a double prophylactic mastectomy. People who have had cancer, especially those who have been through chemotherapy, get it. I don’t want to need to be monitored and checked for cancer every six months. I don’t want to live in fear. In other words, I do not want to wait around for something bad to happen if I can prevent it from happening by being proactive now. I am tired of my cancers and the trouble they have caused, not just for me but also for the people I love.

I totally understand I can get hit by a car or find a different serious health issue at any time, but if I can reduce a major worry that I have dealt with for seven and a half years, I am all in. I am tired of something that has frightened me, worn me down and taken its pound of flesh in so many ways.

How much should someone go hunting for cancer news? What research “should” I be reading? What tests “should” I be requesting? Should I have done the genetic testing that revealed I am positive for the PALB2 abnormality? I learned that instead of being at about a 15 percent possibility of breast cancer returning, it is more of a 30 to 60 percent possibility. What is rational versus too concerned? I don’t know. I suspect that answer is different for each of us. Is there something you can do to be proactive rather than reactive?

To be proactive is not a choice everyone will make. That is OK. Living with one or more cancer diagnoses is living a life painfully aware of life’s uncertainty, and it is ongoing. Fear of recurrence, whether someone is newly diagnosed or 20 years out, never goes away. Uncertainty wears a person down. Cancer survivors live with the uncertainty that cancer may or may not return for the rest of their lives.

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