Chemo or Fear of Chemo, What Is Worse?

After a cancer diagnosis, are we more afraid of our fears of chemo or the chemo itself? This survivor walks through three common chemo fears and what her experiences were like with them.

BY Dana Stewart

PUBLISHED February 14, 2018

Dana Stewart was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010 at the age of 32. She is the co-founder of a cancer survivorship organization called The Dragonfly Angel Society. She volunteers as an advocate and mentor, focusing on young adults surviving cancer. She enjoys writing about life as a cancer survivor, as well as connecting survivors to the resources, inspirations and stories that have helped her continue to live her best life, available at www.dragonflyangelsociety.com.

My biggest fear of cancer, besides being diagnosed with it (and since that already happened), was the chemo itself. What would happen to me when chemo was injected? How would it feel in my body? What would I look like without hair? I was terrified of chemo, plain and simple. I had worked myself up to a fear like no other when it came to thinking about my first chemo. Cancer is like that. It leaves a person constantly wondering what will happen next. The short of the story is that I made it through my chemo and seven years later, I still think about it. I’d honestly say it was not as bad as I had worked it out in my head to be. I can also say that I hope I never have to go through it again. Let’s face it, it was no picnic.

I often see comments from the newly diagnosed asking those with experience to talk about chemo and tell them what it was like. I think it is one of the big wonders of those who are just getting started on their cancer journey. I recently saw comments from someone wondering if she would be able to go through chemo and had just about convinced herself she couldn’t do it. My immediate thought was to just say, “well of course you can make it through chemo. What choice do we have after diagnosis if that is what our medical team says is best?” However, I know that is not necessarily the most helpful set of words to give to someone who is just getting started.

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