Sometimes a Cancer Patient Becomes a Cancer Caregiver

When roles change over time, use your cancer super powers to help, says melanoma and breast cancer survivor Barbara Tako.

BY Barbara Tako

PUBLISHED March 25, 2018

Barbara Tako is a breast cancer survivor (2010), melanoma survivor (2014) and author of Cancer Survivorship Coping Tools–We'll Get You Through This. She is a cancer coping advocate, speaker and published writer for television, radio and other venues across the country. She lives, survives, and thrives in Minnesota with her husband, children and dog. See more at www.cancersurvivorshipcopingtools.com or www.clutterclearingchoices.com.

I had breast cancer when I was 46. My mom was first diagnosed a few years after me at age 80. Breast cancer is a common well-known cancer, but we each are unique in our age, our particular life stage when we get cancer and our type of cancer. I literally had to keep reminding myself that it was OK and correct for her when her treatment choices and needs were different from mine.

Mom's cancer returned three years later but had not spread, based on her scan results. She chose to have a double mastectomy without reconstruction in her 80s. She was not a candidate for chemotherapy and she chose not to have radiation. My job, though I did not necessarily agree with her choices, was to support her choices. That was one of the most difficult things I have ever done.

Cancer survivors know that there are many variables that come into play with a cancer diagnosis – type of cancer, stage, grade, other health issues, age at diagnosis and genetics, to name a few. One of our cancer superpowers is that we understand there are many variables and are therefore equipped to help each other.

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