How much is there to look forward to? Breast cancer survivor reflects on her mom's breast care treatment choices.
BY Barbara Tako
PUBLISHED May 21, 2018
Barbara Tako is a breast cancer survivor (2010), melanoma survivor (2014) and author of Cancer Survivorship Coping Tools–We'll Get You Through This. She is a cancer coping advocate, speaker and published writer for television, radio and other venues across the country. She lives, survives, and thrives in Minnesota with her husband, children and dog. See more at www.cancersurvivorshipcopingtools.com, or www.clutterclearingchoices.com.
It is hard for me not to compare my mom's breast cancer experience in her 80s with mine when I was in my 40s. I was healthy and I wanted, if possible, to stick around to enjoy more travel, watch my children launch themselves as young adults, and maybe even hold grandchildren in my arms someday. Mom already struggled with health issues, had held her grandchildren and had her own ideas about how much oncology treatment she wanted to have. We were at very different life stages and circumstances when each of us faced breast cancer.
I often asked doctors about my likelihood of survival and I was trying hard to figure out how to "ensure" success. Mom was told by her surgeon, our surgeon actually, that she would have choices, including whether she wanted to work toward quality or quantity of life! As her only child and a breast cancer survivor, that was really hard for me to hear, even though it was a sensible way for Mom to think about her treatment choices.
At age 84, my mom was a tough strong woman. I was not. Helpless, in many ways, it was hard to watch my mom go through her cancer. I remember bringing her to the oncologist and the radiation oncologist and all the other appointments, but it was my job to bite my tongue and help her get her questions answered. I remember that I was much more emotional than she was. I remember crying and ranting in my car when no one was around.
I often asked doctors about my likelihood of survival and I was trying hard to figure out how to "ensure" success. Mom was told by her surgeon, our surgeon actually, that she would have choices, including whether she wanted to work toward quality or quantity of life! As her only child and a breast cancer survivor, that was really hard for me to hear, even though it was a sensible way for Mom to think about her treatment choices.
At age 84, my mom was a tough strong woman. I was not. Helpless, in many ways, it was hard to watch my mom go through her cancer. I remember bringing her to the oncologist and the radiation oncologist and all the other appointments, but it was my job to bite my tongue and help her get her questions answered. I remember that I was much more emotional than she was. I remember crying and ranting in my car when no one was around.
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