What comfort can you offer when somebody tells you she or he has cancer or, more challenging, that cancer has returned or spread?
PUBLISHED September 20, 2018
Felicia Mitchell is a poet and writer who makes her home in southwestern Virginia, where she teaches at Emory & Henry College. She was diagnosed with Stage 2b HER2-positive breast cancer in 2010. Website: www.feliciamitchell.net
What comfort can you offer when somebody tells you she or he has cancer or, more challenging, that cancer has returned or spread? There is no etiquette book for this topic. We usually rely on our hearts. Other times, it is more the foot in the mouth that inspires. Mostly we do the best we can.
"I am so sorry!" is a good start.
Compassion informs care, commiseration and comfort. Whatever we can say that expresses our concern and sympathy will go a long way towards comforting – unless the person is not somebody who welcomes sympathy. In that case, we need to share "considerate compassion." Considerate compassion means that we consider just how much sympathy a person can handle and turn that compassion up a notch.
"I am so sorry!" is a good start.
Compassion informs care, commiseration and comfort. Whatever we can say that expresses our concern and sympathy will go a long way towards comforting – unless the person is not somebody who welcomes sympathy. In that case, we need to share "considerate compassion." Considerate compassion means that we consider just how much sympathy a person can handle and turn that compassion up a notch.
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