Thursday, November 29, 2018

Thoughts on Forgiveness

Forgiveness is more than just words, it's feelings. Learning how to forgive others can help us in our cancer journey as well.


PUBLISHED November 28, 2018

Dana Stewart was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010 at the age of 32. She is the co-founder of a cancer survivorship organization called The Dragonfly Angel Society. She volunteers as an advocate and mentor, focusing on young adults surviving cancer. She enjoys writing about life as a cancer survivor, as well as connecting survivors to the resources, inspirations and stories that have helped her continue to live her best life, available at www.dragonflyangelsociety.com.
I start by saying I am not sure forgiveness can be taught. Sure, you can tell someone you are sorry for something you did or said and hear them say back that they forgive you. Yes, the people in this scenario are actively trying to rectify the situation, but there is sometimes something missing in those words and actions: feeling. That, to me, is what cannot be taught within forgiveness. The feelings behind forgiveness are so much greater. You either feel the presence behind the words of saying “I am sorry” to someone (or even yourself, for that matter) or you don't.

So, how does forgiveness work itself into the cancer realm? Like with many other survivors, no one could pinpoint specifically why I got cancer. For the most part, I took care of myself. Was I perfect? Oh, how I wish. I ate my share of junk food, enjoyed a few alcoholic beverages now and then, and worked out, but wouldn't call myself rigorously active. I was also not a smoker. One of my favorite people in the entire world was a hardcore smoker and said undoubtedly that she would never quit. She didn't care what the situation was. Quitting was not an option to her. That pained me to no end because deep down, I knew where that decision would ultimately lead. And, after time, I was proven correct on that thought.

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