The 10-year survival rate for acute promyelocytic leukemia is 80 to 90 percent. This is what I was told when I was diagnosed with APL. Over the next four months of treatment, I often heard this refrain: “Of all the leukemias, this is the one you want to have!”
I’m sure the intention of these comments was to make me feel comforted. However, as a newly diagnosed leukemia survivor fighting for my life, that wasn’t always the effect. Besides, I couldn’t give my leukemia back or exchange it for another one anyway, so there wasn’t much value in the platitude. Nevertheless, the thought crept into my mind often over the weeks and months to come. Was I lucky? Should I be grateful for my type of cancer, my good prognosis?
It all came to a head one day when I was sitting in the outpatient services room during my second phase of treatment. A man with a different type of blood cancer sat down next to me and began telling me his story. After six triumphant months of remission, his cancer had come back. As I listened to him talk about his cancer recurrence, tears streaming down his face, I felt guilty.
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