I spend so much time trying to go back to the past or predict the future that I tend to forget how to live in today's moments.
BY Dana Stewart
PUBLISHED December 06, 2018
Dana Stewart was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010 at the age of 32. She is the co-founder of a cancer survivorship organization called The Dragonfly Angel Society. She volunteers as an advocate and mentor, focusing on young adults surviving cancer. She enjoys writing about life as a cancer survivor, as well as connecting survivors to the resources, inspirations and stories that have helped her continue to live her best life, available at www.dragonflyangelsociety.com.
Hello today! I am not sure we have met before. I like to turn my back on you and run back to the past whenever possible. My other favorite thing to do is to skip over you and look right into the future. No wait, that's not entirely true. I like to pretend I can see into the future and predict exactly what will happen to me before it even has a chance. Oh, and I should also mention this almost always entails how my life will be affected by cancer again.
I was thinking, well actually more like fearing cancer the other day, and I quickly realized just how little I spend actually living today. I have to imagine I am not the only one who does this. In fact, I used to be pretty good about worrying about everything else besides the actual moment I was living in, long before cancer ever graced me with its presence. Cancer just seemed to make it worse. First, I am one of those people that always needs to know the how and why. Why did I get cancer? How did it happen? I didn't have family history, which now I realize is not the only factor. But eight years ago, when I was diagnosed, that seemed a surprise. I didn't smoke, I exercised, and my favorite is I was "too young." Unfortunately for me and my inquiries, I most likely will never know the hows and whys of my cancer diagnosis – but that doesn't mean it doesn't scare me.
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