When bad things happen to friends we care about, we often stand in silence because we don't know what to say.
BY Sarah DeBord
PUBLISHED December 22, 2018
Sarah DeBord was diagnosed with metastatic colon cancer at age 34. In the years since, she has turned her diagnosis into a calling, and become an advocate for other young adults diagnosed with colorectal cancer and parents with young families facing cancer. She works as a communications and program manager for the Minneapolis-based Colon Cancer Coalition , volunteers her time with the online patient-led support community COLONTOWN , and blogs about her often adventurous experiences of living with chronic cancer at ColonCancerChick.com.
Everyone knows those situations where you are at a loss for words. Death is one of them. Any tragedy or crisis is another. I think any moment we're glad it happened to someone else and not to us is another. Be it anticipated or unexpected, what you say to someone who has experienced a serious life-changing event doesn't matter as much as just saying anything at all. A friend gave me the best advice – something I believe she read in a book, and one I filed away to use when I found myself without the words that could console or bring comfort. When something unfortunate happens and you don't know what to say, sometimes simplicity is best.
"I'm sorry for your loss," or "I'm sorry this happened to you."
It's a handful of words that say much more. It acknowledges the situation, the hurt, the sorrow and the confusion a person is feeling. And it simply lets them know you care; for one moment you didn't just continue on with your life as usual, but you stopped to consider them. In a time where most of us can't walk down the street without our heads buried in our phones, it's important that we look up and remember that the world is still moving around us. Because in that moment, it has stopped moving for someone else.
"I'm sorry for your loss," or "I'm sorry this happened to you."
It's a handful of words that say much more. It acknowledges the situation, the hurt, the sorrow and the confusion a person is feeling. And it simply lets them know you care; for one moment you didn't just continue on with your life as usual, but you stopped to consider them. In a time where most of us can't walk down the street without our heads buried in our phones, it's important that we look up and remember that the world is still moving around us. Because in that moment, it has stopped moving for someone else.
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