A survivor makes some suggestions on how to approach people battling a loss or serious illness.
PUBLISHED August 13, 2019
Jane has earned three advanced degrees and had several fulfilling careers as a librarian, rehabilitation counselor and college teacher. Presently she does freelance writing. Her articles include the subjects of hearing loss and deafness, service dogs and struggling with cancer. She has been a cancer survivor since 2010.
She has myelodysplastic syndrome, which is rare, and would love to communicate with others who have MDS.
I learned a long time ago whenever someone had a tragedy happen – such as a loss of a loved one – to say less rather than more. A platitude like “This is God’s will,” or “There is a reason for everything that happens,” is just not what the person needs to hear. I am even careful about saying; “It will be OK.” What if it is not?She has myelodysplastic syndrome, which is rare, and would love to communicate with others who have MDS.
“I am here for you and will talk whenever you are ready,” seems to help. “How can I help, or what do you need?” is another positive thing to say.
After a friend was recently diagnosed with the dreaded “C-word” and said on social media how angry she was, I told her she had every right to be angry. She has spent years taking care of a sick husband and now she is ill. She should be angry at this insidious horrible disease. And anger does keep us going and determined to fight! I told her I was here when she is ready to talk about it.
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