Sometimes every little bump or bruise can make me feel terrified of what it might be. Understanding how my brain is wired helps me to fight being overcome with the fear of recurrence.
PUBLISHED April 25, 2018
Doris Cardwell received a life-changing diagnosis of inflammatory breast cancer in 2007. While undergoing treatment, she co-founded a mentor program for the cancer center treating her. She also created community events to educate, encourage and empower people regarding cancer. Doris was the first Survivorship Community Outreach Liaison for her local cancer center. She is an advocate, educator and encourager on issues facing cancer survivors. Doris is a wife, mother, empty nester, survivor of life and lover of all things coffee. An avid speaker and blogger, she is available at www.justdoris.com.
There is a knot on my toe, could it be cancer? A red spot appeared on my face yesterday and is still here today, could it be cancer? My mastectomy scar area has intense itching this week, is it cancer? If any of this strikes a note in the chorus of your mind, maybe you are a bit like me.
I am tough and strong and have faced down many giants in my life. Yet when these thoughts go dancing in my head, my reflex is to crumple inside. You may not see it on the outside, but my insides go to Jell-o. The struggle is real.
People say, well you know God has you, you know you are going to be fine. HELLO, if I knew that I was going to be fine don't you think my legs wouldn't be Jell-o? Let me clarify. I know God has me, but in that knowing, lies the reality, that doesn't mean life is easy. God having me does not translate into “life has no problems.” It translates into “I have something to hold onto in this life. I have a hope and knowledge that I am not alone in my struggles nor am I alone in my joys.” Cancer is complicated – like life.
I am tough and strong and have faced down many giants in my life. Yet when these thoughts go dancing in my head, my reflex is to crumple inside. You may not see it on the outside, but my insides go to Jell-o. The struggle is real.
People say, well you know God has you, you know you are going to be fine. HELLO, if I knew that I was going to be fine don't you think my legs wouldn't be Jell-o? Let me clarify. I know God has me, but in that knowing, lies the reality, that doesn't mean life is easy. God having me does not translate into “life has no problems.” It translates into “I have something to hold onto in this life. I have a hope and knowledge that I am not alone in my struggles nor am I alone in my joys.” Cancer is complicated – like life.
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