How a break from the hospital led directly to an encounter with the police.
BY Ryan Hamner
PUBLISHED May 18, 2018
Ryan Hamner is a four-time survivor of Hodgkin lymphoma, a musician and a writer. In 2011, he wrote and recorded, "Where Hope Lives" for the American Cancer Society and the song for survivors, "Survivors Survive" used in 2015 for #WorldCancerDay. Currently, he operates his website for those affected by cancer, 2surviveonline.com and drinks a ridiculous amount of coffee per day.
"Driver, out of the car. Show me your hands and keep walking backwards, slowly," the cop said firmly to my cousin. I couldn't believe this was going down. It was my first day out of the hospital in quite some time, and here we were being pulled over with my cousin having to exit the vehicle like a known fugitive. I couldn't help but wonder if we were going to be on the TV show, “Cops.” I sat in the passenger's seat, cold and now extremely nervous. Being cold comes with the territory after a bone marrow transplant, and being nervous was just normal considering the events unfolding in front of my eyes. I was wearing my hooded sweatshirt to keep warm and a germ mask to keep from catching any kind of infection. I watched the two in the passenger's side mirror, as my cousin and the police officer talked things out, both standing just outside the car window.
I was just a couple weeks out from my bone marrow transplant. And, just a week or so earlier, I remembered lying in my hospital bed and every single day, looking out of that window from my room in the Emory University Hospital. I could see sidewalks, the track, the parking lot, miscellaneous buildings and people going about their business. I saw the sunshine coming in my window many times, but I didn't get to fully experience it. I never really felt it. Right there from my bed, daily I imagined being on the other side of the window, at the track, on the sidewalk, walking around, enjoying all of the simple things in life that many people do without another thought. I remember seeing cars park in the parking lot one by one and thinking just how much freedom those people had; they could come and go as they wanted. They were going about their lives, and here I was, with other patients, just trying to get through treatment and a bone marrow transplant.
I was just a couple weeks out from my bone marrow transplant. And, just a week or so earlier, I remembered lying in my hospital bed and every single day, looking out of that window from my room in the Emory University Hospital. I could see sidewalks, the track, the parking lot, miscellaneous buildings and people going about their business. I saw the sunshine coming in my window many times, but I didn't get to fully experience it. I never really felt it. Right there from my bed, daily I imagined being on the other side of the window, at the track, on the sidewalk, walking around, enjoying all of the simple things in life that many people do without another thought. I remember seeing cars park in the parking lot one by one and thinking just how much freedom those people had; they could come and go as they wanted. They were going about their lives, and here I was, with other patients, just trying to get through treatment and a bone marrow transplant.
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